Boundaries

I tried to look at my feet like normal when I took this picture, and then realized that I have to lean waaaaay over to see them. Better get a pedicure while I can still appreciate it! 

Looking at the camera instead of pretending to look at my feet seemed like a better idea. 

Academia: I love my job. I love helping students. They bring me so much joy. But I've found over the past two years that one of the most important things I can do to stay good at my job is to set boundaries with the students; that is, not being 100% available 100% of the time. Little things like locking my office door while I eat lunch have a huge impact on how I'm feeling about the students, my job, and myself at the end of each day.

I mention this because today was one of those days when I was very glad to have boundaries. I had offered to meet a new student this morning to help him find housing, imagining it would take a couple of hours at most, but he and his family ended up needing so much more of my time. At 1:00, I hadn't had anything to eat or drink since breakfast, and didn't see any signs of my charges slowing down, so I fibbed. I told them I had an appointment at 2:00, wrapped things up, dropped them off, and got myself some lunch. Which I ate with my feet up.

I used to have a hard time making myself follow through on these kinds of boundaries. After all, if I didn't have anything else on my calendar, shouldn't I help students who needed me? So I helped, but I often ended up feeling resentful and overextended. Ironically, pregnancy, a time in my life when another person is drawing from my own resources 24/7, has helped me stick to the limits I set with everyone else and not feel guilty for doing so. My baby needs me to eat lunch at a reasonable hour, so I do. I only have three months of "just us" time left with my husband, so I leave work on time and don't answer after-hours emails until the next day. Unless it's an emergency (which obviously I don't ignore), the students will live, and I stay physically and mentally healthy.

Sartorial: During this pregnancy, I've come to set some style boundaries too; mainly, I don't put anything on my body that is even remotely hot or constricting. For example, I haven't worn a pair of heels in six months. I'm not really afraid of falling over in them and have no issues with other pregnant ladies wearing them; they just sound so massively uncomfortable to me that I can't bring myself to stick one toe in. My wardrobe right now is pretty much exclusively loose dresses, cotton tops, and sandals, and I feel great. This is one boundary that may not be permanent, but is making me very happy for the time being!

Back on the Grid

Hey everyone. I'm back.

I totally didn't intend to drop off the face of the earth for six weeks. Everything is going great here, which is exactly why I did drop off the face of the earth - everything going great means everything is also really busy. Here's a rundown of what I've been up to in the past six weeks:

1. Went to Paris with Cary. Tres magnifique!
2. Spent two weeks trying to mentally and physically recover from trip to Paris.
3. Had a nephew, who is honestly the cutest baby ever born. Three weeks old last Saturday, and the apple of his aunt Emily's eye.
4. Finished the semester.
5. Recovered from the end of the semester.

Plus, got increasingly more pregnant, as you can see. I'm 26 weeks right now and feeling wonderful, albeit a little awkwardly sized. Seriously, who would have thought that putting on a pair of pants would be such an act of balance? My daughter is strong and healthy, and quite the active kid. I couldn't have asked for a better pregnancy so far, and all I can ask for now is that it keep going the way it's been going.

So what are my plans for the blog going forward? Obviously, step one is not to drop off the face of the earth for six weeks again. Beyond that, I'd like to keep posting twice a week. I'd love to do more, but it's hard to come up with five non-repetitive outfits every week for months when my wardrobe is so limited. After Baby C is born in August, we'll take things one day at a time, but hopefully will be able to keep up the twice-a-week plan once we've got our feet under us.

Thanks for sticking around, and I'm glad to be back! Until Wednesday or Thursday, enjoy this adorable picture of me and my nephew:

See what I mean? Couldn't you just eat him up?

It's a...

Academia: Among all the exciting days in my life, Tuesday was probably in the top five. Cary and I went for an ultrasound and got to find out the sex of our baby. I'm so psyched to tell y'all. Are you ready? It's a...

...girl!

I couldn't be more thrilled. I think I would be equally excited if she had been a boy - I'm really just happy to be having a baby - but I keep thinking about how close I have always been with my mom and imagining all the fun girl stuff my daughter and I can do together. Cary is excited too; he made a t-shirt that says, "It's a girl!" and wore it to school today to announce it to the kids in his fifth grade class. I can't wait to see him in action as a dad.

Plus, all the adorable baby girl clothes! I went in Gymboree after my ultrasound and saw a bib that was in the shape of a giant strawberry, complete with ruffly little green leaves. Who can pass up that kind of stuff? Keep an eye out late this year, y'all; you may see some mother-daughter posts on this blog. Having a girl makes it way too easy to have a super-stylish kid.

Sartorial: I was feeling very girly yesterday (must be all the extra estrogen), so I wore this. I couldn't think of anything better to be wearing when I told my colleagues and students that I was having a girl. Baby C kicked me a lot while I was wearing it, so I think she liked it too!

I Can't Believe I Watch...

Academia: Guys, I'm writing this as I watch the "Women Tell All" episode of The Bachelor. Holy crap. I can't believe I care about this show. I started watching this season as part of a discussion group on Christian femininity at church, which seemed like a legit reason to tune in. We talked about what it's like to be a woman in our culture, and how that relates to our faith. It was great.

But then the discussion group ended and I CANNOT STOP WATCHING. And weirdly, I can't stop drawing parallels between this and The Hunger Games. The women may not be getting killed off in a brutal fight to the death, but otherwise it feels pretty much the same. Except I was excited to share my love of The Hunger Games with others, but I feel the need to start every conversation I have about The Bachelor with a disclaimer: "Well, I was part of this Bible study..." Because Bible study makes this less lame, right?

Sartorial: There are three things that make this outfit Bachelor-inappropriate: 1) All of my limbs are covered, 2) These pants are comfortable, and most of the ladies' clothes on the show look like medieval torture devices, and 3) Spanx cannot do anything about my belly. And I'm pretty sure this wouldn't work for The Hunger Games either. Nothing about this outfit says "protection from the elements," "camouflage from enemies," or "flammable dress to impress adoring public."

One-Track Mind

Academia: I'm afraid this will be a brief post, y'all. My morning sickness, which seemed to have gone a few weeks ago, is suddenly back with a vengeance, and all I really want to do is go to bed. I think the pregnancy gods heard me bragging that I hadn't thrown up once and are now smiting me. Gross.

I'm sorry to have been so all pregnancy, all the time lately, readers. I know when I was trying to get pregnant, it killed me to have to read about other people having babies, so if you're in the same boat and need to stop reading for a while, I completely understand. It's just that being pregnant is way more all-consuming than I thought it would be - when I don't feel bad, I'm thinking about what the baby will be like, or what we'll name him/her, or what clothes I have that still fit. I'm hoping my regular brain will come back a bit once I get used to being pregnant, but until then, thanks for bearing with me and my single-mindedness, y'all.

Sartorial: This skirt used to be too big. Now it fits perfectly and I don't need a belt. Yay!

Transitional Clothes

Academia: Check-in week for the spring is in full swing, and check-in fatigue + pregnancy fatigue is probably going to = short posts this week. I wore this outfit on Friday to prep for this week. I remember it being a busy day, but for the life of me I can't remember what I did. So, moving on.

Sartorial: My mom bought me a bunch of transitional clothes for Christmas this year (like this lovely pink blouse), for which I'm feeling more and more grateful every day. I'm not big enough for maternity clothes yet, but none of my pants and blouses fit quite the same anymore either. I feel like this belly just came out of nowhere - on Friday, I could barely squeeze myself into these jeans (thank goodness for the loose shirt), and yesterday, I couldn't get a pair of baggy boyfriend pants buttoned up.

I'm glad because if I'm growing, that means the baby's growing, but I'm not sure how getting dressed is going to go for the next month or so. Right now, I have a bunch of rubber bands and belts and long loose shirts on hand to make my pre-pregnancy clothes go as far as possible, but I'd say I have about four more weeks before I need to go shopping. Which y'all can imagine I'm really broken up about. You know how much I hate shopping.

Double Duty

Academia: Pictures didn't happen on Friday, so y'all are getting a special treat today: weekend clothes! And weekend clothes that aren't sweatpants and a t-shirt on top of that. I wore this to church yesterday, and then to the movies to see The Muppets (which I loved... "Rainbow Connection" always makes me tear up). And then I fell asleep on the couch in it, and can I say how great it is that clothes I wore to church can double as couch napping clothes?

Sartorial: I've worn variations on this outfit a lot, but that's just because it's oh so comfy and still looks polished. Let me reiterate: church and a nap in the same outfit. Win-win. Win.

Quiet

Necklace, TOMS 

Academia: Yesterday was a blissfully quiet day at work. The students had only a final exam, no classes, so I didn't see much of them. Instead, I got work done in my office, visited with work friends that I never get to talk to because I'm so busy with the students, and left early enough to go shopping with a girlfriend. After a very busy semester, it was just the kind of day I needed.

Sartorial: For a quiet day, comfy, stretchy clothes seemed appropriate. Perfect for curling up in a chair in a friend's office, stretching my legs out while working at my computer, and walking around Target.

Distraction

Academia: I'm writing this on Thursday evening, so just a quick note before I head to bed, because it's been a busy day. Cary and I are in Orlando for a weekend of distraction from our neverending cycle of doctor's appointments, and we're having so much fun that I'm totally exhausted and about to collapse into my oh-so-comfy Disney hotel bed. I'll give y'all some more details on Monday, but for now, I'll just share that a night at the movies (the Shakespeare-didn't-write-Shakespeare's-plays conspiracy drama Anonymous), followed by a root beer float, is an excellent way to distract oneself.

Sartorial: I needed to be comfy for the car ride, the walking around, etc., so I went with slouchy boyfriend pants, a t-shirt, and TOMS. Today (Friday) we're heading to the parks, so more comfy clothes are in my immediate future. Stay tuned on Monday to see what kind of clothes work for a day of standing in lines and walking. Have a great weekend, y'all!

Mother Knows Best

Academia: So I think all the hormones I'm taking to get pregnant are prematurely turning me into a mom. And I don't mean the mom of a baby, which is what you'd think baby-making hormones would do. I mean the mom of teenagers who make the same mistakes over and over and need to be nagged.

Yesterday I fussed at an 18-year-old student who had gotten his eight jillionth traffic ticket. Normally I just help my students pay their tickets, but this kid is ridiculously horrible at following traffic laws, so I pulled his friend who speaks better English into the office and got him to translate the mom-like tirade I went on, complete with, "Seriously, another ticket?" and "You still don't have a US license? You're lucky you didn't get two tickets!" I got a sheepish smile and a promise to hightail it to the DMV, but I have a feeling that a repeat of this conversation is in my future.

And then another student fell off his skateboard and I had to spend the afternoon at the infirmary while he got treated for a sprained ankle. Jeez, I really am a mom.

Sartorial: Half my outfit came from Loft, which can lean towards middle-aged mom-ish if you're not careful, but I think the Cambridge t-shirt and animal print flats jazzed it up enough to not make me look like the mother of teenagers yesterday. You know, in spite of all the nagging that went on.

Funky Jackie Kennedy

Skirt, Brian's Etsy Shop 

Academia: One of my favorite weekly activities is getting together with our four best couple friends, my sister and brother-in-law Suzanne and Mike, and our friends since forever, Jose and Adrienne, for dinner and Project Runway. We alternate houses every week and we all pitch in a dish for dinner. We're ages behind on Project Runway (we DVR), but we have a great time gasping at the drama, predicting the winners and losers, and critiquing the clothes.

And not it's not just Suzanne, Adrienne, and me who are passing judgement on the designers. The guys have just as many opinions as we do, and it delights me to hear them saying things like, "Yeah, I liked that dress, but maybe with a different shoe," or, "That really doesn't flatter her hips at all." When Project Runway isn't on, we substitute with Top Chef or other competition shows, but PR is my favorite because I love clothes and I love listening to the running commentary from the dude gallery.

Sartorial: We just watched the episode last night where the designers have to consult with men to make clothes for their wives or girlfriends, which prompted an interesting discussion about whether our guys could accurately describe our style to a designer. Mike and Jose did pretty well ("black and white" for Suzanne and "Ann Taylor Loft" for Adrienne), but being married to a style blogger allowed Cary to hit the nail on the head; he described my style as "funky Jackie Kennedy." That's exactly what I try for in my wardrobe.

I think this outfit is a little funky Jackie; the pieces are pretty classic, but the combination of fuschia cardigan, animal print blouse, and aqua earrings is a bit funky. I don't know if this would pass muster on PR, but I liked it, and my husband knows my style well enough to buy me presents, so I say I win.

Friendly Inspiration

Skirt, Brian's Etsy Shop, Bracelet 

Academia: It was back to work after a long weekend yesterday, and all in all, it was a pretty nice day. I sorted through the various comforters, pans, and pillows a departing group of students left for the use of future groups, and I took a student to orientation at her volunteer internship. I got to be out and about, which I much prefer to sitting at my desk all day. So all in all, not a bad start to the week.

Sartorial: I have stylish friends, and having stylish friends means having a never-ending source of inspiration for my own wardrobe. My friend Adrienne has this same pink shirt, except in green, and Sunday at church she wore it over a short-sleeved white button-down. I had never thought to wear this shirt over anything, only under, but when I saw how cute Adrienne looked, I thought, I can recreate that!

I wanted to color-block as well as copy Adrienne, so I paired this pink shirt with a red button-down. I ended up liking it, and will probably bust this out again for Valentine's Day, because let's face it, this is a lot of pink and red.

What about y'all? Do you get inspired by your friends? And do you shamelessly rip their outfits off like I do?

WIth a Little Help from My Friends

Academia: I was thinking yesterday how lucky I am to have the friends I have. As I've been dealing with the funk I wrote about on Monday, my friends have risen to the occasion 100%. Yesterday I was feeling kinda bad, but my friends were there to cheer me up at every turn. I had lunch with my sister, and Brian came over and he and Cary made dinner for us, and then I talked to my dear friend Debra for two hours after Brian went home. I felt so much better at the end of the day. My friends are always awesome, but yesterday just reminded me how awesome they are.

Sartorial: I felt a bit like Indiana Jones in this outfit, which, as I've written about before, is every academic's secret dream. And where would Indy have been without his friends? He would have been eating poisonous dates, trying to lift the Ark out of a snake pit by himself, and probably getting shot by Nazis more than once. I wouldn't be in quite the same dire circumstances without my friends, but I think dressing like someone who would made sense on a day when my friends were really there for me. Thanks, guys.

Like It's 1999

Skirt, Brian's Etsy Shop 

Academia: Nothing particularly remarkable happened yesterday. The most out-of-the-ordinary occurrence was that an off-campus meeting got out way earlier than I expected, so I used the extra time to go to a coffee shop downtown. Sometimes it's nice to have a quiet day like that.

Sartorial: Today's visual Friend Friday is hosted by Shelley of GS Lillian, and the theme is "Decades." I was a little stumped about what to wear at first. I wore some things earlier this week that seemed decade-y - my 70s 12-year-old get-up from Monday or my 60s mod outfit from Wednesday - without really thinking about needing to wear either of those things for today.

Since I had a meeting yesterday, I wanted to wear my blazer, and then it came to me: the 90s. The 90s weren't too long ago, but styles have definitely changed since then, and I thought it would be fun to honor the decade of my adolescence through fashion.

While this outfit may not scream "party like it's 1999," the skirt and blazer are definitely 90s-inspired. Remember this?

Via

And this?

Via

This is just an updated version of that. I wasn't interested in breaking out the shoulder pads and combat boots (not that I have those things anyway), but it was nice to pay subtle tribute to the decade that saw everything in my life from my obsession with Laura Ingalls Wilder to my first kiss. Which was during practice for my eighth grade English class's performance of Romeo and Juliet, if you were wondering, and the final performance was so bad that I'm surprised Shakespeare didn't rise from his grave just to punch us all in the teeth.

New TOMS Day!

Dress, TOMS, Necklace

Academia: Good things that happened today: meeting at a local B&B where a student will be volunteering (including a tour and delicious B&B coffee), tivoed season premiere of How I Met Your Mother, and the first time wearing new TOMS!

Sartorial: New TOMS! I've basically worn holes in my old TOMS, and since they're the most comfortable shoes I've ever owned, I knew it was time for a second pair. I scoured the website, but all the styles I liked were sold out. So I googled "TOMS name of my town," and huzzah! There's a fair trade store downtown that sells them, and they still had these, and I loved them and bought them. And I loved the store too; the owner offered me his opinion without being pushy, and was chatty without being overly familiar. My favorite kind of salesman!

Be prepared to see these a lot this week. I'm on a mission to prove that they go with everything.

Color Blocked

Academia: Today was just another quiet day of getting things done uninterruptedly. Except for the part where I hauled 100 pounds of brochures on a wonky-steering cart across campus in the 95 degree heat. That part was not quiet at all, thanks to the ear-piercing squeak the cart developed halfway through our journey together. But the day is ending with a cherry limeade from Sonic, a new skirt from Modcloth (tune in tomorrow to see it!), and a get-together with friends. And without a wonky, squeaky cart.

Sartorial: Since there weren't many people around to see me today (except for the hundred or so people who watched me struggle across campus with the squeaky cart), I decided to give color blocking a concerted effort. I've never been bold enough to really do this before, but I ended up liking how it came out a lot. I think the colors are different enough, but still in the same color family. Is "color family" a thing? You can tell I spend a lot of time thinking/reading/talking about Fashion.