Parenting Practice

Academia: I'm still off conferencing in Houston, and hopefully will be able to report to you next week that it went well (I'm writing this on Sunday night before leaving). In the meantime, I give you another outfit I wore last week, on a day when the students were really wearing me down. It wasn't a bad day at all, but just a day in which everyone had a question, or a weird problem, or a complaint.

It was exhausting, but in a way, probably good practice for parenthood. After all, Baby C will be here soon and she will need me way more than any student I've ever had. I'm sure it will feel different - I'll love my daughter more and differently than my students, which will make meeting her needs easier in some ways. But there will probably also be days when I feel run down by how dependent she will be on her dad and me. For those days, my job can be an excellent warm-up.

Sartorial: Wearing fun clothes can make tiring days a little better. Bright purple and red, comfortable jeans, and a big flower in my hair all make me smile. That's something to keep in mind for those inevitably tiring days with Baby C: putting on happy clothes might help ease that worn-out new mommy feeling.

To any moms reading this, how did you make yourself feel a bit more human on long days with your baby?

Hispanohablante (Sort Of)

Academia: Check-in week for the summer term is over, and my free time and energy have returned, huzzah! Y'all have heard me talk about how crazy the first week of the semester is approximately eight billion times, so I won't go into much detail. I drove students around, I gave seminars, I answered what are now extremely familiar questions about housing, immunizations, insurance, and life in the US. Blah blah blah.

The only thing that really stood out as different was how much Spanish I got to practice during the week. We have a strict English-only policy at work; not because we hate our students' native languages, but because the best way to learn English is to use English as much as possible. So usually, I try to encourage my students to speak English with me, even though I minored in Spanish and am passingly fluent. But last week, we had several new Spanish-speaking students who really didn't speak English at all, and it was more important that they understand how signing a lease, opening a bank account, and buying health insurance works than that they get a few more hours of English practice.

It took a bit for my Spanish to un-rustify, but once I got going, I felt like I got by reasonably well. Everyone seemed to understand what I was saying at least. Plus, it's good for me to put myself in my students' shoes linguistically from time to time. Spending two whole afternoons speaking only Spanish reminded me how hard all my students are working every day to live life in English. It gave me a renewed admiration for them. At the beginning of the semester, when students are beating down my office door, remembering just how brave and determined they are helps me stay flexible and patient.

Sartorial: I wore this outfit last week on one of my Spanish-speaking days. I spent the afternoon driving students to see apartment complexes in the rain. Rainy days always make me want to wear jeans, and these pants are the closest maternity alternative I have. Actually, on a hot, humid day, they were better than jeans - the chambray fabric is lighter and looser than denim, making them the perfect summer pants. The loose top was cool and comfy in the humidity as well. All in all, not a bad outfit to spend a day in.

Boundaries

I tried to look at my feet like normal when I took this picture, and then realized that I have to lean waaaaay over to see them. Better get a pedicure while I can still appreciate it! 

Looking at the camera instead of pretending to look at my feet seemed like a better idea. 

Academia: I love my job. I love helping students. They bring me so much joy. But I've found over the past two years that one of the most important things I can do to stay good at my job is to set boundaries with the students; that is, not being 100% available 100% of the time. Little things like locking my office door while I eat lunch have a huge impact on how I'm feeling about the students, my job, and myself at the end of each day.

I mention this because today was one of those days when I was very glad to have boundaries. I had offered to meet a new student this morning to help him find housing, imagining it would take a couple of hours at most, but he and his family ended up needing so much more of my time. At 1:00, I hadn't had anything to eat or drink since breakfast, and didn't see any signs of my charges slowing down, so I fibbed. I told them I had an appointment at 2:00, wrapped things up, dropped them off, and got myself some lunch. Which I ate with my feet up.

I used to have a hard time making myself follow through on these kinds of boundaries. After all, if I didn't have anything else on my calendar, shouldn't I help students who needed me? So I helped, but I often ended up feeling resentful and overextended. Ironically, pregnancy, a time in my life when another person is drawing from my own resources 24/7, has helped me stick to the limits I set with everyone else and not feel guilty for doing so. My baby needs me to eat lunch at a reasonable hour, so I do. I only have three months of "just us" time left with my husband, so I leave work on time and don't answer after-hours emails until the next day. Unless it's an emergency (which obviously I don't ignore), the students will live, and I stay physically and mentally healthy.

Sartorial: During this pregnancy, I've come to set some style boundaries too; mainly, I don't put anything on my body that is even remotely hot or constricting. For example, I haven't worn a pair of heels in six months. I'm not really afraid of falling over in them and have no issues with other pregnant ladies wearing them; they just sound so massively uncomfortable to me that I can't bring myself to stick one toe in. My wardrobe right now is pretty much exclusively loose dresses, cotton tops, and sandals, and I feel great. This is one boundary that may not be permanent, but is making me very happy for the time being!

Kelly Green

What's going on with my face here? Is this "Pregnant Women are Smug" face?

Academia and Sartorial: Happy early St. Patrick's Day, y'all! Today is Green Day on Everybody Everywear, so I'm busting out the luck o' the Irish a few days ahead of schedule. I got this kelly green t-shirt in Target's limited maternity section over the weekend, and I really like it - partly because it actually fits, but mostly because I love love love this shade of green. It's such a happy, bright color, and I feel happy and bright wearing it.

I'm a little disappointed that St. Patrick's Day is on a weekend this year, because part of the fun of working with international students is dressing up for holidays. I normally get to wear lots of green on St. Paddy's Day, lots of pink on Valentine's Day, and costumes on Halloween. Oh well. I am going to a friend's 30th birthday party on the 17th, so I'll wash this and wear it again then.

What about y'all? What are your plans for St. Patrick's Day? Any green outfits set aside already?

To Everything There Is a Season

Academia: This week is spring break for my university, but unfortunately not for me. We have our half-semester check-in this week, so I'm not getting a spring break right now. (I am taking a vacation at the end of the month though... stay tuned for all the exciting details!) So I wore this yesterday to give a seminar, answer student questions about insurance, etc. Not thrilling, but all in all, an okay day.

Sartorial: Yes, these are the same pants I wore on Monday. I also wore this cardigan yesterday, although I didn't manage to snap a picture. I'm finding that wearing maternity clothes is kind of like a 30 for 30 remix, except it's more like 9 or 10 for 150. Here's what I currently have in my pregnancy wardrobe:

5 dresses
2 pairs of work-appropriate pants
1 pair of boyfriend jeans
2 skirts
2 shirts

I plan to add to this list, of course, but for the next five months, I also plan to repeat items of clothing with no "but I have a style blog" guilt. To everything there is a season, and right now is a season of sticking with clothes that I like and are comfortable. And after the baby comes, I plan to have a season of "huzzah for normal clothes again!" shopping and skinny jeans wearing. Because I'm sure that's what the writer of Ecclesiastes 3 meant.

Mental Fist Shaking

Academia: I think my university is the only public institution in the US that doesn't celebrate Presidents' Day. 364 days a year, I love, love, love working there, but on Presidents' Day, my alarm goes off, I look at my blissfully sleeping public schoolteacher husband, and I mentally shake my fist at the powers that be. And that's how yesterday went for me.

Sartorial: I'm also starting to mentally shake my fist at my wardrobe. I don't have enough maternity clothes to make a full wardrobe, but none of my pre-pregnancy pants or skirts fit comfortably anymore, so every day I just look at my closet and sigh. This in-between stage of pregnancy is killing my style mojo.

I felt better over the weekend when my friend Lilly, whose due date is one week before mine, said she was feeling exactly the same way about her clothes. She always looks really stylish to me, so that gave me hope that maybe I'm not looking as blah as I feel when I get dressed every day. I think a good solid hour of shopping for more clothes that actually fit would give my style mojo the boost it needs. I hoping that can happen this week; stay tuned for results.

I know I sound super whiny today, y'all. I promise I'm not fishing for compliments, and I hope to be back to my non-whiny self in my next post. Thanks for bearing with me.

Word Play

Academia: A lot of interesting things happened in my day yesterday, but the one that sticks in my memory most is the one that happened last. A student called late in the day, begging me to help him. Alarmed, I asked him what on earth was wrong. He had a horrible toothache and needed a dentist, he said. Okay, how much pain was he in, I asked.

"Emily, my tooth f*** me!" he exclaimed.

Ooooookay. What other possible response is there besides, "I understand and will find you a dentist immediately"? None that I could think of, so that's exactly what I said, and I found him a dentist immediately. And got him the number and address of an urgent care clinic, just in case. Because dang. Just dang.

Sartorial: When I was wasn't resolving crises of the tooth-f***ing variety yesterday, I was enjoying wearing the last, and maybe most favorite, of my new maternity dresses. Happily, our cold front has vanished (high of 80 yesterday, what what), so I got to try this out blazerless and blazer...ful? What? I have a master's in linguistics, y'all. I can make up words. 

Rainy Day Tights

Academia: Two posts in a row! Yay! Yesterday was gross and gray and rainy, which was great when I was curled up on the couch with a warm rice sock on my back, but not so great when the fire alarm in my building went off and we all had to stand outside for half an hour. This happens all.the.time. in my building. Maybe someone keeps pulling the alarm or maybe a bunch of someones are really inept at microwaving. Either way, standing outside in the gray chill is not awesome, and warm rice socks are.

Sartorial: I've said it before, and I'll say it again: purple tights are designed specifically for rainy days. But not for lying on the couch. Sweatpants are better for that.

Anne of Green Gables

Academia: Things are quieting down from the beginning of the semester, for which I am sooo thankful. It's nice to be busy at work, but it's also nice to have quiet days after the busyness. Yesterday I had a few minutes to sit in my office armchair and put my feet up on my desk chair. It was delightful.

Sartorial: Another delightful thing that happened over the weekend is that my mom came and took me maternity clothes shopping! I thought everything would be too big still, but it all fit perfectly, so apparently I'm showing more than I thought. I can't tell y'all how nice it is to have clothes that look right on my body and don't make me feel like a sausage squeezed into a too-small casing. I got three dresses, two skirts, and a pair of jeans. And may I just say, why aren't all pants made like maternity pants? They're so stretchy and wonderful. A friend of mine called them "reverse Spanx." Instead of squishing you in, they just expand to let you be as big as you want to be. I must find a way to keep wearing them forever.


This is one of the dresses I got, and I feel so pretty in it. The ruffly collar and the flowers remind me of Anne of Green Gables - they seem so feminine and old-fashioned. Of course, Anne didn't get pregnant until book five of that series, and then I doubt her maternity dresses were 100% synthetic fabric (or that they even called them "maternity dresses" back then... they were probably just "dresses"), but I like to think that if Anne were not fictional and walking around today, this is what she would have picked.

Okay, I'm imagining a fictional character from an Edwardian-era novel shopping at Motherhood Maternity. It's definitely to stop writing and go to bed. I'll be back soon with more new maternity clothes and less rambly weirdness, I promise.

Land of the Living and Growing

Check out the To Kill a Mockingbird necklace Cary got me for Christmas!  I love a man who indulges my nerdiness.

Academia: I am beginning to re-enter the land of the living, y'all. I've progressed from the "pounding sinus headache" stage of the cold to the "hacking up a lung" stage, but it's progress. I got a reasonable night's sleep Wednesday night and am starting to feel a bit more human. I also found out that I'm allowed to take Robitussin, huzzah! Plus, the hacking cough scares off students who don't really need anything but just want to complain, so I've been surviving working sick pretty well. I'm not feeling great yet, but I'm not feeling like a zombie anymore either. Maybe by next week I'll feel like a person again!

Sartorial: I wore this Wednesday, which was not a great day health-wise or weather-wise. I hadn't turned the corner with this cold yet, and it was chilly and rainy all day. A nice loose blouse over my increasingly weird-to-dress belly and some dark tights were just what I needed to stay warm, dry, and comfortable.

I don't think I would have tried a loose shirt over a pencil skirt before getting pregnant, because I felt great about having a small waist and I liked emphasizing it by tucking in my blouses. I like my growing body too, but having a constantly changing shape has challenged me to dress it differently than how I normally would. I liked how this blouse draped over my belly without hiding it. It's certainly a change from showing off a tiny waist, but I have a feeling I'm going to love this kind of showing off even more.

Professional but Fun

Academia: Check-in week continues, and thankfully it's a bit calmer than either check-in during the fall semester. Yay! I wore this yesterday to help a friend with an academic culture seminar, and to drive new students to visit apartment complexes. Rather than being in my windowless office, I was about on an unseasonable 70 degree day. Can't complain about that!

Sartorial: I used to belt this dress, but this belly seriously has come out of nowhere, so I decided the tights were restrictive enough without adding a belt. I really liked the gray dress with the chestnut tights and the animal print shoes; to me it looked professional, but still fun. "Professional but fun" is pretty much my motto for dressing for work, so I was happy in this all day (other than being a bit squeezed by my tights).

Transitional Clothes

Academia: Check-in week for the spring is in full swing, and check-in fatigue + pregnancy fatigue is probably going to = short posts this week. I wore this outfit on Friday to prep for this week. I remember it being a busy day, but for the life of me I can't remember what I did. So, moving on.

Sartorial: My mom bought me a bunch of transitional clothes for Christmas this year (like this lovely pink blouse), for which I'm feeling more and more grateful every day. I'm not big enough for maternity clothes yet, but none of my pants and blouses fit quite the same anymore either. I feel like this belly just came out of nowhere - on Friday, I could barely squeeze myself into these jeans (thank goodness for the loose shirt), and yesterday, I couldn't get a pair of baggy boyfriend pants buttoned up.

I'm glad because if I'm growing, that means the baby's growing, but I'm not sure how getting dressed is going to go for the next month or so. Right now, I have a bunch of rubber bands and belts and long loose shirts on hand to make my pre-pregnancy clothes go as far as possible, but I'd say I have about four more weeks before I need to go shopping. Which y'all can imagine I'm really broken up about. You know how much I hate shopping.

Limited Time Only

Academia: Thanks for all your congratulations and well-wishes on Wednesday, y'all! Cary and I both read your comments, and it meant a lot to us. Thanks!

I've been back at work this week, but yesterday was the first day I had to interact with anyone other than the other administrators and office staff. We had a new student and his parents arrive early (check-in for the spring is next week), and they wanted some help getting settled, so I went with them to apartment complexes for part of the day. They were a very nice family, and it was a great way to ease back into the semester.

Sartorial: Since I was seeing a student, and not just my coworkers, I thought it would be a good idea not to wear the jeans I've been wearing all week. I also spared y'all from seeing them. You're welcome. I'd say this pencil skirt only has about three or four more weeks before I can't wear it any more (it's already a little tight), so I'm trying to get as much wear out of it as I can now.

I'm looking forward to finding fun maternity clothes, but I'll definitely miss this skirt. It's comfortable and versatile, and it makes every outfit look more polished. Does anyone make maternity pencil skirts? Is there a way for a pregnant woman to wear a pencil skirt and not look absolutely squeezed into it? Yes, I hope?

Professional Stretchy Pants

The Poppy Chain Boutique 

Academia: The semester's over, but the busyness continues for another couple of days. I spent yesterday chauffeuring visiting professors around town. They were very nice, but it was quite a full day and I was happy to arrive home and put my feet up at the end of the day. Today is my last day of work before Christmas, and I won't go back until January 3 - yay! I plan to fully enjoy my long break, mostly by sleeping late and eating. I can't wait.

Sartorial: Even though I had a very professional day with the professors, I couldn't work up the will to wear anything other than these leggings again. The semester is over and tiny-waisted skirts just seem like too much work now. The professors didn't seem to mind, so if they weren't sweating it, I won't either.

Quiet

Necklace, TOMS 

Academia: Yesterday was a blissfully quiet day at work. The students had only a final exam, no classes, so I didn't see much of them. Instead, I got work done in my office, visited with work friends that I never get to talk to because I'm so busy with the students, and left early enough to go shopping with a girlfriend. After a very busy semester, it was just the kind of day I needed.

Sartorial: For a quiet day, comfy, stretchy clothes seemed appropriate. Perfect for curling up in a chair in a friend's office, stretching my legs out while working at my computer, and walking around Target.

Ever Seen a Movie About New Year's Eve in Manhattan? Yeah, I Thought Not.

TOMS

Academia: The last day of classes in any semester is a whirlwind of insanity, but yesterday felt more insane than normal. One of our administrators was out sick, so there was a lot of scrambling to cover the million-odd jobs she usually does. On top of that, the students go into panic mode at the end of the semester when they realize they have too many absences/are failing their classes/haven't made hotel reservations for the holidays/will miss the final because they bought their plane tickets for the wrong day. Fun times.

Amidst the normal hand-wringing that shows up in my office at the end of the semester, one crazy problem stood out from the rest yesterday. A very nice, very conscientious student came by and said that he wanted help making a hotel reservation. I said sure, where did he want to go? Times Square, New York City, was his answer. Fine, I said. What day?

December 31. Yeah.

I tried to explain that Times Square is the most popular place to be on December 31 in the entire United States of America, but he wanted to forge ahead and find a hotel. He was shocked to see that every available bed, army cot, sleeping bag, and folding chair on Times Square - nay, the entire island of Manhattan - costs $500 and up on New Year's Eve. I felt bad for him - I mean, he's not from here, he couldn't really know - but OMG, dude. Just OMG. Not surprisingly, he ultimately decided to go home and re-evaluate his plans.

Sartorial: I like to bring a little color to a day of insanity and hand-wringing. Purple tights make me feel better when I have to say things like, "Hmmm, I guess you could stay in Newark. Which is not actually even in the same state you're trying to be in."

Perks

Brian's Etsy Shop 

Academia: There are so many awesome things about my job. A student once told me I had four hearts, which was definitely a high point. I overheard one student tell another student who was being rude that he had "bad customer service," which I wouldn't call a high point, but was still pretty funny. And at the end of the semester, when all the teachers are running around in a flurry of grading, my job is actually winding down.

As a student life advisor, I work really hard at the beginning of each semester, when the students are new and still settling into life in the US. At the end, though, they're all housed, immunized, and insured, and there isn't as much for me to do. Although now that I've said that, I'm sure someone will set their apartment on fire or break their leg or something. So this week at work has been a bit more relaxing than a month or so ago. And at the end of a long semester, that's certainly a plus.

Sartorial: Another perk of my job is that I can wear leggings to work and absolutely no one cares. Bazinga.