Boundaries

I tried to look at my feet like normal when I took this picture, and then realized that I have to lean waaaaay over to see them. Better get a pedicure while I can still appreciate it! 

Looking at the camera instead of pretending to look at my feet seemed like a better idea. 

Academia: I love my job. I love helping students. They bring me so much joy. But I've found over the past two years that one of the most important things I can do to stay good at my job is to set boundaries with the students; that is, not being 100% available 100% of the time. Little things like locking my office door while I eat lunch have a huge impact on how I'm feeling about the students, my job, and myself at the end of each day.

I mention this because today was one of those days when I was very glad to have boundaries. I had offered to meet a new student this morning to help him find housing, imagining it would take a couple of hours at most, but he and his family ended up needing so much more of my time. At 1:00, I hadn't had anything to eat or drink since breakfast, and didn't see any signs of my charges slowing down, so I fibbed. I told them I had an appointment at 2:00, wrapped things up, dropped them off, and got myself some lunch. Which I ate with my feet up.

I used to have a hard time making myself follow through on these kinds of boundaries. After all, if I didn't have anything else on my calendar, shouldn't I help students who needed me? So I helped, but I often ended up feeling resentful and overextended. Ironically, pregnancy, a time in my life when another person is drawing from my own resources 24/7, has helped me stick to the limits I set with everyone else and not feel guilty for doing so. My baby needs me to eat lunch at a reasonable hour, so I do. I only have three months of "just us" time left with my husband, so I leave work on time and don't answer after-hours emails until the next day. Unless it's an emergency (which obviously I don't ignore), the students will live, and I stay physically and mentally healthy.

Sartorial: During this pregnancy, I've come to set some style boundaries too; mainly, I don't put anything on my body that is even remotely hot or constricting. For example, I haven't worn a pair of heels in six months. I'm not really afraid of falling over in them and have no issues with other pregnant ladies wearing them; they just sound so massively uncomfortable to me that I can't bring myself to stick one toe in. My wardrobe right now is pretty much exclusively loose dresses, cotton tops, and sandals, and I feel great. This is one boundary that may not be permanent, but is making me very happy for the time being!

Pre-Bad Hair Day

Academia: This is Wednesday's outfit, and the most important thing I can remember about Wednesday at this point is that I got my hair cut on Tuesday and this was my first time trying it out in public. I just got a couple of layers, which looked good on Wednesday, but were a disaster yesterday. I've had short hair for so long that I'm out of practice doing any kind of styling, but my sister says I need a flat iron and some heat protection products to keep it from frizzing out. Long-haired readers, do you agree? How do you keep your hair looking straight and not frizzy?

Sartorial: This was the fifth or sixth outfit I tried on on Wednesday. Just one of those days. Cary got home before me Wednesday afternoon and said he could tell exactly what kind of morning I had because of the explosion of clothes I left all over the bed. I ended up sticking with jeans and an easy blouse at the last minute. Kind of how I pulled my hair into a ponytail at the last minute yesterday, because omgfrizzymess. Seriously, y'all. Help me.

EBEW: DIY (It's Acronymtastic!)

Blouse 

Academia: Here's what I wore to work yesterday - no Columbus Day off for me, y'all. It's not a holiday my university celebrates, which I guess makes sense; we should probably be celebrating Leif Ericson Day, or European Settlers Were Pretty Jerky to Native Americans Day. But a day off would have been nice. Oh well.

Sartorial: Today is DIY Day at Everybody Everywear. I am not crafty at all and never make any clothes by hand, so I had to go with the only pair of pants I've ever hemmed on my own: these jeans. You can read all about the epic battle I fought with my antediluvian sewing machine here, but here's a quick summary: the jeans were about five inches too long when I bought them (why do retailers think all women are 5'10"? How many women wearing a size 4 really are that tall?), and I had a sewing machine, so I attempted an invisible hem. After about five hours of messing up, ripping out seams, crying, cursing at my sewing machine, and accidentally stabbing myself in the foot with a pin, I had hemmed jeans.

The good news is that these are now my favorite jeans. They're so comfy, and while they were a bit pricey and took a lot of effort to get to the right length, I've worn them so much that the cost per wear is probably $2 or less by now. I'm not particularly inspired to get the sewing machine back out and make my own clothes or anything, but if I ever need to hem another pair of pants, I know now that I can.

Coffee and Dates

Academia: Some days my job is hard. Y'all have heard a lot about those days in the past few months. And then some days, it's really, really wonderful. September 23 was the National Day of Saudi Arabia, a day to celebrate the founding of the modern nation in 1932, and my university's Saudi student association held an open celebration/cultural fair in our student union last Friday, September 30. Since nearly 50% of my department's student body is Saudi, my boss figured it would mean a lot for a group of administrators to go over and check it out together. So off we went - our director, assistant director, admissions coordinator, recruiter, and me, the student life coordinator.

Hospitality is a core cultural value in Saudi Arabia, so when we got there, we were immediately offered Arabic coffee and eight frillion different kinds of dates. There were guys stationed at the entrance to the fair whose entire job was to say hello and pour coffee. After we finished our coffee, we could read posters about the history and culture of Saudi Arabia. We could have our names written in Arabic. We could sign a map of Saudi Arabia. And we also got to participate in my two favorite activities: trying on traditional clothes and getting a henna tattoo.

Trying on the clothes was a trip. Like any lover of fashion, the chance to try on new clothes is always exciting for me, but I was there early in the day and none of the Saudi women were out of class yet. So I had a bunch of dudes trying to get me dressed. The end result looked pretty good, but I couldn't shake the feeling that these guys really had no clue what they were doing. Here's how it turned out:

Seriously, I had a whole team of stylists for this.

Not bad, right? Except that I went back later in the day and found out from one of my female students that the thing I'm wearing on my head is not supposed to go on my head. She looked at me like I was nuts when I suggested it. So the lesson here is that guys are equally oblivious to women's fashion in all cultures.

After the clothes, I saw that my boss had gotten a henna tattoo. I got really psyched and dragged a friend over to the henna station so we could get them too. Saudi women use henna as a semi-permanent accessory for special occasions, especially weddings. I'd never gotten a henna tattoo before, but I think mine is gorgeous. It should last another week or so before it completely fades:

I wish my hand could look like this all the time.

Trying on clothes and getting decorated with henna was fun, but what left me feeling really fantastic at the end of the fair was how excited my students were to share their culture with me. Honestly, they were thrilled. Everyone wanted to get a picture with me in the clothes. Everyone offered me more dates and coffee. Everyone complimented me on the henna. I felt a bit like a celebrity, but these students made everyone feel that way. I felt so welcome that I visited the fair twice on Friday. It was truly one of the best days ever at my job.

Saudi Arabia often gets a bad rap internationally, for the status of women there, for its ties to terrorists. Those are issues that can't and shouldn't be ignored. But my experience with Saudis is that they are warm, outgoing, and eager to both learn about new cultures and teach others about their own. And I think the fact that these people exist is also something we can't and shouldn't ignore.

Sartorial: I didn't realize I'd be walking across campus twice in the heat (still!) when I got dressed on Friday, but I unintentionally chose well for the occasion: cotton dress, sneakers, and a ponytail. My Chucks are a bit out of place in the picture with the traditional Saudi clothes, but I think the fact that I'm draped in gold embroidery distracts from that. And hey, people gotta wear comfortable shoes no matter what country they're in, right?

Doctor Football

Blouse

Academia: Y'all, it's Sunday night as I write this, and my weekend was so good that I can't even remember what I did in this outfit on Friday. So why don't I tell you about my great weekend instead? Saturday was Football Day in this college town, which meant four great things: 1) tailgating, 2) seeing out-of-town family and friends at tailgating, 3) the weekly school-colors-and-mascot fashion show that passes us at tailgating, and 4) winning! And then tailgating afterwards. Really, tailgating is half the reason to go to a football game in the South. And then Sunday brought church, lunch with my sister and brother-in-law, and a new Doctor Who. Football and the Doctor in one weekend - what more could a girl want?

Sartorial: Well, like I said, I didn't wear this for any of the activities I just described, but I did enjoy wearing it for whatever I did on Friday that I can't remember. This shirt always makes me feel French, and therefore, 30% chicer than normal. And my ring is Italian - my grandfather brought the cameo back from Italy after World War Two and had it set in a ring for his mother - so I'd say that adds another 10% of chicness. Which is great, because after a weekend of sweating at the football game and harboring a not-so-secret crush on a fictional time-traveling alien, I need all the chic I can get.

More Fun Than It Sounds

Blouse, Skirt 

Academia: We started a week of professional development yesterday, which is more fun than it sounds. I also got to break up with an apartment complex that I don't like yesterday, which is also more fun than it sounds. After months of not returning my emails or my students' security deposits, they had it coming. It was way easier than breaking up with a person, because I could do it over email and not seem like a jerk, and like many breakups, I had a back-up apartment complex waiting in the wings. And I didn't feel the need to cry or eat ice cream afterwards. Win-win.

Sartorial: Even though I was breaking up over email, I needed to dress for battle yesterday. For me, that means super-feminine. The higher the heels, the better. I wore a really similar outfit a few weeks ago, and it made me feel so good that I knew I needed to wear it again yesterday. I felt like a professional grownup who could handle an apartment complex breakup in her sleep. Kind of like a superhero. Pencil Skirt Woman to the rescue! Okay, that was lame. It's late and my creative brain cells are zapped. Better jokes tomorrow.

Dorky and Proud

Shirt

Note about bracelet: Tunie was my grandmother, and this bracelet was from a pre-my grandfather boyfriend :)

Academia: It was suuuuuch a quiet day today. I went to work for six hours, where I filed some papers and responded to some emails, and then I went to the library, which is one of my favorite places to be on a hot summer day. Other favorites: the beach, the movies, and the United Kingdom. After the stress of the semester and our ongoing treatment for infertility, I needed some escapist fiction, so I found myself in the  fantasy/sci-fi section.

I've spent years trying to convince myself that I am not a fantasy novel reader, imagining all fantasy novel readers to be Renaissance Faire-going, sword-owning, cape-wearing people. And then I realized that I've read Harry Potter and The Lord of the Rings like 18 times, I watch Star Trek: The Next Generation, and my first celebrity crush was Han Solo. Not Harrison Ford. Han Solo. Since there's pretty much no way anybody besides me was convinced I wasn't a dork already, I went ahead and checked out two fantasy novels. And I'm halfway through the first one already - The Lost Gate by Orson Scott Card. And I love it.

Sartorial: One of the things I love about not having students around is that I don't have to dress up. Yay for sneakers at work! But if I ever wear a cape on this blog, please e-slap me. Capelets are okay though. Not the same thing at all.

New Clothes Days are the Best Days

Blouse, Skirt

Academia: Today was a pretty normal day at work. Highlight: finding volunteering placements for two students. Yay! Lowlight: listening to people insist they haven't ever been absent when I am staring right at their attendance record on the computer. It was kind of like the time my niece got into the wading pool when she wasn't supposed to, and when my sister-in-law asked her what happened, she said it had rained. Just on her. From the waist down only. Except she was about four, and my students are adults. I love my job. I really do. I don't normally complain this much about it. This group of students just needs to go.

Sartorial: In funner news, new clothes! New clothes! Huzzah! Not only is the 30x30 over, but my mom took me shopping on Saturday and I got all kinds of cute stuff, mostly from my favorite store in the world, Loft. Am I predictable? Yes. But am I also well-dressed? I say yes. I love this pencil skirt and this blouse apart and together. My mom said this outfit looked French. Do I agree? Oui.

Also, do y'all have Stein Mart? Stein Mart is awesome. I always thought it would be kind of messy and overwhelming like TJ Maxx, but it turns out it's fantabulous. I got these shoes, another pair of shoes, a lightweight blazer, and the cutest trench coat I've ever seen. I wish it weren't a jillion degrees out so I could wear it. I will definitely be visiting Stein Mart all the time again. Stay tuned tomorrow for Loft and Stein Mart 2: Electric Loftaloo.

University of Five Guys Fashion

Earrings

Academia: Today, I went to work and tried to make my body forget I ate Five Guys for dinner last night. That restaurant is so delicious, and so likely to make you feel gross after you eat it. My Five Guys belly played a big role in my fashion choices today...

Sartorial: ... mainly in that I didn't want to wear a belt (gasp, but I'm a blogger!), denim, pants of any kind, really, or anything that would squeeze my midsection in any way, shape, or form. So I pulled out this skirt and top and all of a sudden became College Emily again.

I got both of these pieces in college, and they're pretty representative of what "dressed up" meant to me when I was 21. Solid colored shirt, patterned a-line skirt. I didn't wear this every day (shorts and t-shirts were for every day), but for fancy occasions, this was what I relied on.

I actually got the skirt to wear when I studied abroad in Spain in 2005, because I heard that Spanish women dressed up more than American women. Which turned out to be 100% true - it was not quite as hot as the surface of the sun in Sevilla that summer, and everyone was walking around in dresses and heels. I wore skirts or capris every day. It was a good sartorial experience - got me out of my t-shirt rut. And, you know, that whole "living in another country" thing was a good experience too. 

College Me in the skirt during a weekend trip to Portugal.

Also, I joined Independent Fashion Bloggers today. I thought it seemed like a good way to get plugged in to the blogging community. I haven't set up my profile or even figured out where to find the button so I can put it on my homepage (help, anyone?), but I've gotten a LOT of friend requests. So, is that normal, my more experienced blogger friends? I mean, I'm happy to be friends with anyone. But did I get all these requests because I am so plainly fabulous that everyone wants to be friends with me, or because this is pretty normal for everyone who joins IFB?

Edit: Five minutes after I posted this, I went back to IFB and saw the big "Get the IFB badge!" link on my dashboard. It took six years of higher education to attain this level of intelligence, y'all.

Sweet Home Alabama

Reasons to dress down on a Thursday:

1. I'm grading papers at home. The only people who will see me today are the people in the grocery store, the cats, Cary (who can't get rid of me), my sister and brother-in-law (who can't get rid of me), and my friends Jose and Adrienne (who could get rid of me but probably won't).
2. It's 90 degrees out.
3. Apparently the Apocalypse has arrived in the South in the form of ginormous tornadoes. While I wasn't anywhere near the insane damage that happened yesterday, the same storm system is coming my way today. I don't think we're supposed to see tornadoes, but inclement weather calls for comfortable clothes.

Seriously, did y'all see the footage of those tornadoes in Alabama? My aunt and cousin live in Birmingham, and I spent a good hour thinking they might have been sucked up by the 1.5-mile-wide tornado that ripped through town. They weren't (although they did spend some quality time hanging out in their basement). And I was just in Tuscaloosa, home of the University of Alabama, a city which is completely devastated now. The people there were so gracious and the town is lovely. Since I live in another Southern college town, Tuscaloosa is especially on my mind today.

Not the Jeans, but Almost as Good

Shoes

Scarf as belt

Shirt and pants: LOFT

Cardigan and shoes: Target

Scarf as belt, necklace, and earrings: Inherited from grandmother

Bracelet: Gift from Cary

As you can see, I opted not to wear my jeans again. It was a hard decision because I was sad when I took them off last night. My mom says that when I was little, I slept in my patent leather Mary Janes because I was so happy wearing them, so apparently I haven't changed at all in the last 25 or so years.

What I am wearing is a pair of pants that didn't fit a month ago, and does now. Yay! I felt inspired by their navy color, so I added Breton striped espadrilles and a nautical scarf as a belt. Unfortunately, you can't see them very well in the pictures, because the early morning rainy day light was weird and washed everything out. Hopefully tomorrow will be sunnier. I'm not in love with these pictures, but the outfit was nice, and I'm one day closer to being able to wear my jeans again. All is good.