Hispanohablante (Sort Of)

Academia: Check-in week for the summer term is over, and my free time and energy have returned, huzzah! Y'all have heard me talk about how crazy the first week of the semester is approximately eight billion times, so I won't go into much detail. I drove students around, I gave seminars, I answered what are now extremely familiar questions about housing, immunizations, insurance, and life in the US. Blah blah blah.

The only thing that really stood out as different was how much Spanish I got to practice during the week. We have a strict English-only policy at work; not because we hate our students' native languages, but because the best way to learn English is to use English as much as possible. So usually, I try to encourage my students to speak English with me, even though I minored in Spanish and am passingly fluent. But last week, we had several new Spanish-speaking students who really didn't speak English at all, and it was more important that they understand how signing a lease, opening a bank account, and buying health insurance works than that they get a few more hours of English practice.

It took a bit for my Spanish to un-rustify, but once I got going, I felt like I got by reasonably well. Everyone seemed to understand what I was saying at least. Plus, it's good for me to put myself in my students' shoes linguistically from time to time. Spending two whole afternoons speaking only Spanish reminded me how hard all my students are working every day to live life in English. It gave me a renewed admiration for them. At the beginning of the semester, when students are beating down my office door, remembering just how brave and determined they are helps me stay flexible and patient.

Sartorial: I wore this outfit last week on one of my Spanish-speaking days. I spent the afternoon driving students to see apartment complexes in the rain. Rainy days always make me want to wear jeans, and these pants are the closest maternity alternative I have. Actually, on a hot, humid day, they were better than jeans - the chambray fabric is lighter and looser than denim, making them the perfect summer pants. The loose top was cool and comfy in the humidity as well. All in all, not a bad outfit to spend a day in.

Boundaries

I tried to look at my feet like normal when I took this picture, and then realized that I have to lean waaaaay over to see them. Better get a pedicure while I can still appreciate it! 

Looking at the camera instead of pretending to look at my feet seemed like a better idea. 

Academia: I love my job. I love helping students. They bring me so much joy. But I've found over the past two years that one of the most important things I can do to stay good at my job is to set boundaries with the students; that is, not being 100% available 100% of the time. Little things like locking my office door while I eat lunch have a huge impact on how I'm feeling about the students, my job, and myself at the end of each day.

I mention this because today was one of those days when I was very glad to have boundaries. I had offered to meet a new student this morning to help him find housing, imagining it would take a couple of hours at most, but he and his family ended up needing so much more of my time. At 1:00, I hadn't had anything to eat or drink since breakfast, and didn't see any signs of my charges slowing down, so I fibbed. I told them I had an appointment at 2:00, wrapped things up, dropped them off, and got myself some lunch. Which I ate with my feet up.

I used to have a hard time making myself follow through on these kinds of boundaries. After all, if I didn't have anything else on my calendar, shouldn't I help students who needed me? So I helped, but I often ended up feeling resentful and overextended. Ironically, pregnancy, a time in my life when another person is drawing from my own resources 24/7, has helped me stick to the limits I set with everyone else and not feel guilty for doing so. My baby needs me to eat lunch at a reasonable hour, so I do. I only have three months of "just us" time left with my husband, so I leave work on time and don't answer after-hours emails until the next day. Unless it's an emergency (which obviously I don't ignore), the students will live, and I stay physically and mentally healthy.

Sartorial: During this pregnancy, I've come to set some style boundaries too; mainly, I don't put anything on my body that is even remotely hot or constricting. For example, I haven't worn a pair of heels in six months. I'm not really afraid of falling over in them and have no issues with other pregnant ladies wearing them; they just sound so massively uncomfortable to me that I can't bring myself to stick one toe in. My wardrobe right now is pretty much exclusively loose dresses, cotton tops, and sandals, and I feel great. This is one boundary that may not be permanent, but is making me very happy for the time being!

Word Play

Academia: A lot of interesting things happened in my day yesterday, but the one that sticks in my memory most is the one that happened last. A student called late in the day, begging me to help him. Alarmed, I asked him what on earth was wrong. He had a horrible toothache and needed a dentist, he said. Okay, how much pain was he in, I asked.

"Emily, my tooth f*** me!" he exclaimed.

Ooooookay. What other possible response is there besides, "I understand and will find you a dentist immediately"? None that I could think of, so that's exactly what I said, and I found him a dentist immediately. And got him the number and address of an urgent care clinic, just in case. Because dang. Just dang.

Sartorial: When I was wasn't resolving crises of the tooth-f***ing variety yesterday, I was enjoying wearing the last, and maybe most favorite, of my new maternity dresses. Happily, our cold front has vanished (high of 80 yesterday, what what), so I got to try this out blazerless and blazer...ful? What? I have a master's in linguistics, y'all. I can make up words. 

Ever Seen a Movie About New Year's Eve in Manhattan? Yeah, I Thought Not.

TOMS

Academia: The last day of classes in any semester is a whirlwind of insanity, but yesterday felt more insane than normal. One of our administrators was out sick, so there was a lot of scrambling to cover the million-odd jobs she usually does. On top of that, the students go into panic mode at the end of the semester when they realize they have too many absences/are failing their classes/haven't made hotel reservations for the holidays/will miss the final because they bought their plane tickets for the wrong day. Fun times.

Amidst the normal hand-wringing that shows up in my office at the end of the semester, one crazy problem stood out from the rest yesterday. A very nice, very conscientious student came by and said that he wanted help making a hotel reservation. I said sure, where did he want to go? Times Square, New York City, was his answer. Fine, I said. What day?

December 31. Yeah.

I tried to explain that Times Square is the most popular place to be on December 31 in the entire United States of America, but he wanted to forge ahead and find a hotel. He was shocked to see that every available bed, army cot, sleeping bag, and folding chair on Times Square - nay, the entire island of Manhattan - costs $500 and up on New Year's Eve. I felt bad for him - I mean, he's not from here, he couldn't really know - but OMG, dude. Just OMG. Not surprisingly, he ultimately decided to go home and re-evaluate his plans.

Sartorial: I like to bring a little color to a day of insanity and hand-wringing. Purple tights make me feel better when I have to say things like, "Hmmm, I guess you could stay in Newark. Which is not actually even in the same state you're trying to be in."

Early Thanksgiving

Brian's Etsy Shop 

Academia: One of the very best parts of my job is the opportunity to introduce our students to American holidays. I love wearing green on St. Patrick's Day, putting on a pirate hat for Halloween, and handing out candy on Valentine's Day, but my very favorite holiday tradition at work is our annual Thanksgiving potluck, which was held on Friday evening.

Here are the reasons I love the Thanksgiving potluck:

1. Sooooo much good food. One of our teachers takes the afternoon off to cook the turkeys for us, which are always delicious, and our students all bring food from their countries. And since our students all have different cultural norms when it comes to punctuality, we get new dishes continually for the first two hours of the dinner.
2. It's like eating with a really, really big extended family. Our students are all far from home, and they turn to each other to provide the sense of family they miss from the very beginning of the semester. By the time we get to the Thanksgiving dinner, students from different countries are taking pictures with their arms around each other, trying food from each other's countries, and learning words in each other's languages. Being around that kind of camaraderie would make anyone feel good. The food is really just a bonus.

Sartorial: We had a short-lived cool spell on Friday and Saturday (by which I mean it wasn't 80 degrees), which was perfect for an early Thanksgiving. This shirt over a bulky skirt probably wasn't the best choice for disguising the food baby I left the potluck with, but I was warm and I had a belly full of turkey, so honestly I don't think there was much to complain about.

Schoolteacher

Academia: I've been sitting here for an hour trying to think of something to say about what I did in this outfit, other than "I ran around all day and didn't get to eat lunch until after 2:00." But since I ran around all day and didn't get to eat lunch until after 2:00, my creative faculties are suffering a bit. All I've got is "my feet hurt" and "What up with How I Met Your Mother last night?" So yeah. Sorry.

Sartorial: I wore this ensemble to church on Sunday (I always test-run new outfits at church) and my sister said all I needed to become a stereotypical old-fashioned schoolteacher was a ruler and a bun. I didn't want to go quite that far, but looking a little sterner at work couldn't hurt. Maybe I should start making students clap erasers or scrape the gum off the underside of desks if they don't turn in their immunization paperwork on time. That would be totally appropriate, right?

Mother Knows Best

Academia: So I think all the hormones I'm taking to get pregnant are prematurely turning me into a mom. And I don't mean the mom of a baby, which is what you'd think baby-making hormones would do. I mean the mom of teenagers who make the same mistakes over and over and need to be nagged.

Yesterday I fussed at an 18-year-old student who had gotten his eight jillionth traffic ticket. Normally I just help my students pay their tickets, but this kid is ridiculously horrible at following traffic laws, so I pulled his friend who speaks better English into the office and got him to translate the mom-like tirade I went on, complete with, "Seriously, another ticket?" and "You still don't have a US license? You're lucky you didn't get two tickets!" I got a sheepish smile and a promise to hightail it to the DMV, but I have a feeling that a repeat of this conversation is in my future.

And then another student fell off his skateboard and I had to spend the afternoon at the infirmary while he got treated for a sprained ankle. Jeez, I really am a mom.

Sartorial: Half my outfit came from Loft, which can lean towards middle-aged mom-ish if you're not careful, but I think the Cambridge t-shirt and animal print flats jazzed it up enough to not make me look like the mother of teenagers yesterday. You know, in spite of all the nagging that went on.

Four Hearts

Academia: So I was helping this new student find a dentist today, and when he was about to leave my office, he said, "Before I come here, other Arabic students tell me, 'If you have any problem, Emily can help you. She work with four hearts, not one.'" And that pretty much made my week.

Sartorial: Having four hearts gives me a lot of room to love clothes I probably should have gotten rid of years ago. I bought this shirt in high school and there's a rip in one sleeve, but it's so well-worn and flexible that I just want to keep it forever. Same with these shoes, which are newer but so broken in that  there's a permanent groove for each of my big toes. But I figure that even if I devote one whole heart to these clothes, I have three left for everything else, so my devotion remains.

Mom for a Day

T-shirt, Brian's Etsy Shop

Academia: I may not have kids yet, but that doesn't stop me from feeling like a mom at work sometimes. Yesterday morning, we got a voicemail from a very young student's mother, entirely in the student's native language, saying that her child was sick and someone needed to take him to the doctor. I tried calling the student, but the phone number we had was wrong, so off I went to his apartment. He didn't answer the door when I knocked, so I had to get the manager to go in and check on him. I was starting to imagine the rest of my day spent in the ER with this kid who was too sick to answer the door.

Well. He was fine. He had a cold, and had been sleeping the deep sleep of teenage boys when I knocked. He had no idea his mother had called and didn't want or need to go to the doctor. I told him to call me if he changed his mind, and for heaven's sake, to please call his mom and tell her he was okay.

I also told him to drink lots of fluids and get some rest. Then I went back to work and nagged students who hadn't gotten their immunizations yet. I'm sure my future kids will be thankful for all this mom practice I'm getting now. Good grief.

Sartorial: I think this blazer makes the t-shirt and jeans look a lot more authoritarian, don't you? On days when I have to be a mom, authoritarian is a good way to look. People take my nagging much more seriously that way.

Coffee and Dates

Academia: Some days my job is hard. Y'all have heard a lot about those days in the past few months. And then some days, it's really, really wonderful. September 23 was the National Day of Saudi Arabia, a day to celebrate the founding of the modern nation in 1932, and my university's Saudi student association held an open celebration/cultural fair in our student union last Friday, September 30. Since nearly 50% of my department's student body is Saudi, my boss figured it would mean a lot for a group of administrators to go over and check it out together. So off we went - our director, assistant director, admissions coordinator, recruiter, and me, the student life coordinator.

Hospitality is a core cultural value in Saudi Arabia, so when we got there, we were immediately offered Arabic coffee and eight frillion different kinds of dates. There were guys stationed at the entrance to the fair whose entire job was to say hello and pour coffee. After we finished our coffee, we could read posters about the history and culture of Saudi Arabia. We could have our names written in Arabic. We could sign a map of Saudi Arabia. And we also got to participate in my two favorite activities: trying on traditional clothes and getting a henna tattoo.

Trying on the clothes was a trip. Like any lover of fashion, the chance to try on new clothes is always exciting for me, but I was there early in the day and none of the Saudi women were out of class yet. So I had a bunch of dudes trying to get me dressed. The end result looked pretty good, but I couldn't shake the feeling that these guys really had no clue what they were doing. Here's how it turned out:

Seriously, I had a whole team of stylists for this.

Not bad, right? Except that I went back later in the day and found out from one of my female students that the thing I'm wearing on my head is not supposed to go on my head. She looked at me like I was nuts when I suggested it. So the lesson here is that guys are equally oblivious to women's fashion in all cultures.

After the clothes, I saw that my boss had gotten a henna tattoo. I got really psyched and dragged a friend over to the henna station so we could get them too. Saudi women use henna as a semi-permanent accessory for special occasions, especially weddings. I'd never gotten a henna tattoo before, but I think mine is gorgeous. It should last another week or so before it completely fades:

I wish my hand could look like this all the time.

Trying on clothes and getting decorated with henna was fun, but what left me feeling really fantastic at the end of the fair was how excited my students were to share their culture with me. Honestly, they were thrilled. Everyone wanted to get a picture with me in the clothes. Everyone offered me more dates and coffee. Everyone complimented me on the henna. I felt a bit like a celebrity, but these students made everyone feel that way. I felt so welcome that I visited the fair twice on Friday. It was truly one of the best days ever at my job.

Saudi Arabia often gets a bad rap internationally, for the status of women there, for its ties to terrorists. Those are issues that can't and shouldn't be ignored. But my experience with Saudis is that they are warm, outgoing, and eager to both learn about new cultures and teach others about their own. And I think the fact that these people exist is also something we can't and shouldn't ignore.

Sartorial: I didn't realize I'd be walking across campus twice in the heat (still!) when I got dressed on Friday, but I unintentionally chose well for the occasion: cotton dress, sneakers, and a ponytail. My Chucks are a bit out of place in the picture with the traditional Saudi clothes, but I think the fact that I'm draped in gold embroidery distracts from that. And hey, people gotta wear comfortable shoes no matter what country they're in, right?

In Hiding

Brian's Etsy Shop, TOMS 

Academia: I felt significantly less crabby with my students yesterday than I did on Tuesday, but I have a confession to make. Yesterday afternoon, I heard Tuesday's most obnoxious student coming down the hall, and I shut my office door and pretended not to be there. I didn't turn off the lights, but I seriously considered it. If I had thought he actually needed help, I would have helped him, but I knew he just wanted to complain. So I hid. Hi, I'm Emily and I'm a professional grown-up who hides from whiny 20-year-olds.

Sartorial: You know what's great for extended periods of time in hiding? Stretchy pants. Perfectly comfortable for slouching down in my desk chair and trying not to be visible through the frosted glass on the door. I'm wondering if there some kind of office camouflage I can buy for future periods of hiding. Like maybe grayish-whitish clothes that will help me blend with the fluorescent lights and dingy paint? If it saves me from hearing one more time how stupid the US is for not having socialized healthcare, it's worth every penny.

Steel Magnolia

Skirt, Brian's Etsy Shop 

Do not incur the wrath of a steel magnolia.

Academia: My opportunities for badassery at work just keep on coming. Today I found out that one of my student's neighbors has been harassing her as she walks to and from her apartment. Not like run-of-the-mill catcalls. More like "you deserve to be slapped for even thinking that and your mother would be ashamed of you." But rather than slap him myself, she and I called the cops, who went with us to her apartment.

I was so ready for the officer to kick in that guy's door. I had my Indiana Jones face-melting skills ready to go. But unfortunately, he wasn't there, so no faces were melted today. The officer told the student to call if it happens again, though, so I'm holding out hope that this jerk will at least have the bejesus scared out of him, if not actually have a melted face.

Sartorial: It's such a cliche to refer to Southern women as steel magnolias, but I really honestly felt like one today. My clothes made me look very ladylike, and the events of the day made me feel like Jason Bourne. I could have blessed someone's heart while punching them in the face, I felt so steel magnolia-ish. Do not mess with my students, y'all. Bless your heart.

The Edge

Earrings

I'm a college professor. Do not mess with me.

Academia: I didn't melt the faces off any hypothetical apartment complexes today, and I didn't fight them with a whip like Indiana Jones. Here's what I did do. I called my very real friend, a real estate attorney, who agreed to help my very real student pro bono. It's not quite face-melting, but I felt as much like a badass treasure hunting professor as I probably ever will.

Sartorial: I got this shirt last week for $4.50. I'm still on the fence about whether I like it (pros: comfy and cheap, cons: polyester), but I did like that Cary said it looked "edgy" this morning. I liked pairing an edgy shirt with girly accessories, and I liked that my hair is long enough to put up in a girly bun, albeit with a ton of pins. But most of all, I liked that my shirt gave me some edginess on the very day I needed to melt some faces. Thanks, shirt.

New Clothes Days are the Best Days

Blouse, Skirt

Academia: Today was a pretty normal day at work. Highlight: finding volunteering placements for two students. Yay! Lowlight: listening to people insist they haven't ever been absent when I am staring right at their attendance record on the computer. It was kind of like the time my niece got into the wading pool when she wasn't supposed to, and when my sister-in-law asked her what happened, she said it had rained. Just on her. From the waist down only. Except she was about four, and my students are adults. I love my job. I really do. I don't normally complain this much about it. This group of students just needs to go.

Sartorial: In funner news, new clothes! New clothes! Huzzah! Not only is the 30x30 over, but my mom took me shopping on Saturday and I got all kinds of cute stuff, mostly from my favorite store in the world, Loft. Am I predictable? Yes. But am I also well-dressed? I say yes. I love this pencil skirt and this blouse apart and together. My mom said this outfit looked French. Do I agree? Oui.

Also, do y'all have Stein Mart? Stein Mart is awesome. I always thought it would be kind of messy and overwhelming like TJ Maxx, but it turns out it's fantabulous. I got these shoes, another pair of shoes, a lightweight blazer, and the cutest trench coat I've ever seen. I wish it weren't a jillion degrees out so I could wear it. I will definitely be visiting Stein Mart all the time again. Stay tuned tomorrow for Loft and Stein Mart 2: Electric Loftaloo.

The Call of the Wild

Dress, Cardigan

Academia: Today, there was a squirrel in our teacher resource room, which our admissions coordinator caught and released into the wild. But today refused to top out weirdness-wise with the squirrel, because then there was nearly pornographic photo shoot in front of our building, which was a whole different kind of "the wild."

I didn't see it, but apparently there were bikini-clad teenage girls posing seductively and smoking cigarettes for a photo spread called "Smokin' Hot on Campus." In attendance at this photo shoot were the girls, the photographers, my boss (only for the 30 seconds it took her to rip them to shreds and throw them off our non-smoking campus), and almost every male student we have, at least half of whom are from conservative Muslim countries and often aren't really even used to seeing women's upper arms in public. Among the many issues I have with this, here are the most salient:

1. Our campus is non-smoking, and we have been reprimanded repeatedly because our students won't stop smoking on campus. So thanks for the good example, "Smokin' Hot" ladies.
2. A university isn't church or anything, but it is where people go to learn and better themselves. Seriously, a little respect for the educational process.
3. Does anyone really still think smoking is cool?
4. The name of the talent agency representing these ladies was a play on words that referred to losing one's virginity. So, yeah. Gross.

Sartorial: I felt positively puritanical in this outfit compared to the bikini girls. But unlike them, I was appropriately dressed to be on a college campus. Or, you know, anywhere not called "the beach." I've already worn this dress and cardigan together in my 30x30, but I like the combination so much and I tried to change up the accessories so it didn't look the same. And hey, I was clothed and I wasn't smoking. Win-win. (Win.)

Ode to the Middle East

Academia: Today, the attitudiest kid in the class I just took over came to my office specifically to tell me I'm a good teacher. I was convinced this class hated me and missed their old teacher, but at least one person doesn't think that. Yay!

Sartorial: Today's outfit, accessory by accessory, turned into an ode to the Middle East. My necklace is my mom's maiden name spelled in ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs, which I know has nothing to do with the modern Middle East, but I love wearing it anyway.

The scarf I'm wearing as a belt was my grandmother's and I never thought twice about it until I wore it to work a few months ago and a Saudi student pointed out that it's very similar to the Saudi keffiyeh, a traditional headdress worn by men. I asked then if it was offensive to wear it as a belt, but that student insisted it wasn't. Today, I got a similar reaction from another Saudi student: "This is keffiyeh! Very nice, teacher." I always try to be careful wearing things that come from other cultures, as I don't want to culturally appropriate anything (see Allyson's post on cultural appropriation on Decoding Dress for better-considered thoughts on this), but I think as long as I'm not upsetting anyone, I'm okay.